Where was I?

I remember that I was sitting in a Business Law class on campus and wondering why my professor who was never late, was late. He was always there before us and class was to begin at 9 am. We all sat there quiet and waited. We were only a few weeks into the semester so we really didn't know what to think. A few minutes after 9, he came raging in and told us class was cancelled. He tried to tell us but he was so angry and upset.
I remember leaving and not really grasping everything he had said and I went over to the Publix to grab some stuff before I would need to get Erica from Pre-K. Everyone in the store was on alert and buzzing with the news. I felt like I was in a time warp and things were fuzzy. I just couldn't grasp what happened. I checked out and the young girl who bagged my items said "It's just like "Left Behind" or something. I just can't believe it." I can't tell you what I bought but I will forever recall her words because that's when it started to hit me. I drove home and turned on the news.
My neighbor came over as she knew my younger brother was in the military and she was concerned and wanted someone to talk to. She cried and cried and I just kinda sat there still not able to wrap my mind around it all. I saw it on tv, here my beloved neighbor was sitting with and explaining things to me and I still felt like it was all just some crazy dream. It had to be, right? This stuff just can't happen here, Not in America.
My mother in law called, my Mom called and still I was in a fog. I couldn't sleep and just couldn't stop thinking it through. It made no sense at all.
I had gotten Erica from school and our day really had not changed all that much but I knew that so many oterhs had. It was just horrible. Then within days of Sept. 11th, my Mom called to say she was going with her Red Cross Chapter to respond to the disaster. I was horrified. I didn't want her to go to NY. I kept thinking what if something happens again. I can't bear to think of my Mom being there but I also knew that my Mom would help those in need. Not just with her team but with her kind ways and I took a deep breath and realized she was going to go whether we wanted her to or not. I also realized that I would need to explain things to Erica, with her uncle in the service and actively deployed and her Granny headed up to the site, she would need to know.
I did my best to explain to a 4 year old her uncle's job, her Granny's job and what had happened to our country and how things are in this big world.
I am not sure she got it but she did get that her uncle and Granny were off to help those who needed it.
Mom was gone til after Christmas that year and slowly we adjusted. Somehow, things returned to some kind of normal though it wasn't as it had been before.
Time passed and 6 years later, Erica and I got to see the WTC site. We were in NY and we saw the cross from the rubble and the tiles the children made. Erica didn't seem to have much of a grasp of the relevance and I remembered being that way the day it happened.
Now, 10 years later and I ask myself, did I understand, do I really know the effects this has had? My answer is probably not. I was nearly 25 years old, I had a child in preschool, I was a returning college student and nothing like this had every happened in my life. I am sure I was self-centered and concerned only with my life, my Mom, my brother but that day my world got alot larger. I don't understand still and I don't know all the effect this caused but I know it opened my eyes to see what more is out there and how many are interconnected. In some way, big or small, all of America was bound together by this tragedy.
We will never forget.